daily affirmation

I don’t always feel like a christian. I don’t always feel moved to pray. I don’t always feel like doing the right thing. sometimes what i actually want to do is contrary to what I know I should do. but to live in Christ is to deny myself. to deny my feelings and what I want for myself in order to overcome them ad do what I know is my duty as a child of God. I can’t let my emotions rule over me. I have to rule over them. I can’t let my thoughts rule over me. I have to rule over them. the anger, fear, anxiety, confusion, doubt. I have my emotions. my emotions do not have me. I can control myself enough to be able to overcome myself. to be able to overcome my thoughts and feelings. so that even when I don’t feel like God’s child, the truth is that I am. and this truth remains the same…day in…day out…year in…year out. its not based on how I feel or what I think but its based on who God is. it is a deeply set revelation. a revelation that is etched on my heart. that I am His and He is mine and nothing can change that. that I am loved. forgiven. free. redeemed. a new creation. a royal priesthood. above and not beneath. the head and not the tail. nothing can separate me from the love of God. nothing and no one can dictate how I feel or act but God. every good thing I have ever done has come from Him and none other than Him because within myself there is nothing good.

these are the words I say to myself over and over and over again. even when I don’t believe what I’m saying, I say it until I believe it and until I  remember who I really am.

This is my daily affirmation.

 

(just some 02:34AM thoughts, recklessly typed without any grammatical or punctuational consideration)

 

peace & love xoxo 

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The Runaway Bride

So I’ve been reading the Book of Hosea and I’m kinda freaking out.

First of all, God tells this PROPHET to marry a WHORE. A PROSTITUTE. (1:2) Imagine that. A man of God, a man people respect and people look up to is ordered to marry a woman with no morals. I guess sometimes God tells us to do some crazy things, all we have to do is obey.

Anyway.

Hosea knew her history, her identity, her character and married her nonetheless. She gives birth to his children (1:3-4,6,8) and then leaves. (2:5)

She leaves her husband, her children and returns to her old ‘lovers’.

The true, pure Love Hosea had for her was something she wasn’t used to, so She returned to this mediocre, counterfeit ‘love’.

A ‘love’ she felt safe in because it was all she had ever known.

Could this man really love her and accept her in all her mistakes? She didn’t think so. She ran back to what she was comfortable with and ended up in the hands of strange men. Men who wanted her to abuse her. Men who desired her to exploit her. Men who she thought could give her everything she needed.

Little did she know that it was Hosea who really Loved her with a pure Love. It was Hosea who knew what she needed and was willing to give her everything she wanted. (2:8)

Whilst Hosea saw a Jewel, these men saw a piece of meat. Meat that they wanted to sell.

So here Gomer is, waiting to be sold.

And then Hosea gets the same commandment from God,

“Go. Go and find her. Go. Buy her back” (3:1)

So he went looking for her. No doubt he had to go to the roughest parts of the neighbourhood.

“Isn’t that Hosea? Isn’t he a prophet? What’s he doing in this side of town?”

People were looking, pointing, whispering but Hosea didn’t care. He was looking for his wife. Looking for a woman who had rejected him, a mother who had abandoned his three children. A wife who had disregarded their wedding vows.

And he found her.

In chains.

In ragged clothes.

On display for the highest bidder.

They locked eyes and in shame she hung her head.

“He’s found me. He definitely won’t want me back now. This is who I am. This is my life. I’m not a wife or a mother. I’m a whore”

Hosea looks at her with tears in his eyes. He has found his bride!

“Excuse me sir, that woman you want to sell. Yeah, that’s my wife. She is mine. We belong together”

“The one with the long black hair? That’s Gomer and she’s for sale.”

“But..she’s already mine-”

“- I don’t care what you say or who you think she is, there’s a price on her head”

“How much.. how much for my wife?”

Imagine that. He was willing to buy her, a woman he had already married and claimed. Someone that already belonged to him!

A woman who had run away from him. A woman who clearly showed no intention on being a true wife and mother. A woman with no self-respect.

but he didn’t care about all that. He didn’t care about what she had been up to since she had ran away. He just wanted her back in his arms. He wanted what was rightfully his.

Gomer was stunned. She couldn’t believe that he still wanted her. After everything, he still wanted her.

“I’ll buy her”.

And so he did. He bought her back for a hefty price. (3:2) He believed she was worth it. Even though she didn’t see her own worth, Hosea did.

She returned and realised that those men could never love her the way Hosea did. They could never hold her, believe in her, lift her up, provide for her or care for her the way Hosea could. She realised that nothing could surpass the love Hosea had expressed towards her. She realised what true Love really was.

She realised the redemptive power of Love and in that realisation she gave herself wholeheartedly to him because she knew that there wasn’t anyone in the earth like Hosea, there wasn’t anyone who could Love the way he did. (2:7)

Hosea had bought his wife back and he wasn’t giving her up or letting her go for anything or anyone. He vowed to hold onto her tightly. (2:10)

Even after all of Gomer’s wrongdoings, Hosea only had thoughts of love, kindness and peace towards her. Hosea was still planning on willingly giving her everything she needed and desired once he had her back. (2:15).

This story is one of pain, heartbreak, feelings of self-doubt, lack of self worth, rejection, loss, redemption, sacrifice but above all it is a beautifully heart-wrenching illustration of the Love God has for us.

We are all Gomers. We have given ourselves over to the “strange men” of this world over and over again. We are all runaway brides. We have run away and indulged in the things that distance us from God. We have rejected God and accepted the counterfeit love of idols in the form of mediocre, God-less/Love-less relationships, social media, school, work, objects etc. We have not recognised that the Love we seek is the Love we can only find in God. We give ourselves over to people who leave us feeling empty inside. But God being so rich in mercy bought us back.

“How much for this runaway bride?”

“The Blood of your only begotten Son” – a hefty price but He knew we would be worth it.

He bought back what already belonged to Him.

He bought us back with a jealous Love. (Deuteronomy 4:24)

A Love that looked past our past, past our mistakes, sins, regrets, failures and shortcomings.

Redemptive Love.

God saw into the future. He knew us before we were even formed (Jeremiah 1:5a) He looked at us not as we are now but as what we shall be; a true spotless Bride.

Transcendent Love.

Gomer tried to run away but Hosea found her. Where could we run from the presence of the Lord? (Psalms 139:7) Where could we hide from His Love? (Psalms 139:15). Through the highs and lows, He is present. He pursues us relentlessly. Should we rise or fall, He is faithful through it all. After all, He cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:13).

Peace and love xoxo

The Power of Repetition

Joshua was ordered to gather the people and instructed them to “compass the city” once a day for the next six days (6:7). The priests were followed by the “covenant of the Lord” (6:8), so they were more than certain that God was supporting them and leading them. And so every day for six days they went around the city. They didn’t question why, they just done the same thing over and over again until on the last day, they went around the city seven times and on the seventh time they gave a shout and the walls came down (15-16, 20).

A lot of the time we’re told that if we try and do something one way, and it fails, then we should try another strategy in the hopes of succeeding. Reading Joshua 6 has really opened my eyes to see and understand the power of doing the same thing over and over again. When God told Joshua that he and the people should go around the city numerous times, he didn’t question it he just faithfully obeyed. Imagine doing something so repetitively in the hopes of getting some pretty big results!

But its not just about being repetitive or doing the same thing over and over again. Doing something consistently is a reflection of your faith. It’s believing that one day what you are doing will trigger results, and it also shows a great sense of resilience. Your attitude whilst doing something consistently matters. Verse 15 tells us that they rose up early in order to go about the city. They were eager, enthusiastic and they were under expectation. Our attitude behind our actions either hinders us or empowers us.

Be encouraged today to recognise the power of having the right attitude. The power of resilience, consistency and the power of repetition.

peace & love xoxo

 

Psalms 139

Psalms 139 has really been resonating with me lately.

God’s infinite wisdom, He knows you inside and out. He knows you way better than you know yourself. Nothing gets past Him, He knows everything you think, speak and do. Whenever you rise, whenever you fall He is aware of it all (verse 1-2).

But even when we do think, speak or do right He is still present (verse 7-8), He doesn’t turn His back but instead He continues to watch over you. Even if you “make [your] bed in Hell..” He is still present and willing to save you and hold you (verse 10).

Even when you feel overwhelmed by negative situations and all you see is the darkness of the enemy trying to consume you (verse 11), why should that matter? What even is darkness to God? To the One who has power and authority over it? To the One who knew you before the foundations of this world were laid. The One who created you and designed you in such an intricate and beautiful way (verse 12-14). 

Even if this everyone around you may look at you like you mean nothing, remember that God looks at you and sees perfection, He sees the beauty and “substance” that lies underneath those mistakes and regrets (verse 16).

He doesn’t see what you are now, He sees what you will eventually become. See yourself the way God sees you, think about yourself the way God thinks about you. His “precious” thoughts towards you are way too many for you to even try and number them or fathom them (verse 17-18). 

It may seem like those who mock the very God you believe in are getting by just fine but God knows what He is doing, everything is happening according to His plan, your duty is to just stand with the Word which you know to be the truth (verse 19). 

God sees your heart, He understands that you’re still a work in progress and He is able to search you and renew in you a right heart and mind (verse 23-24).

peace and love xoxo

 

 

Psalm 18:19

14/01/2018

Psalm 18:19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me because he delighted in me

Sunday morning and the Lord leads me to this scripture.

The end part of that scripture really resonated with me, “he delivered me because he delighted in me”. Sometimes, when we get into certain situations, God waits to deliver us because He wants to delight in us first. He wants to see our reaction towards that certain situation, He wants to see how diligently we pray about the situation, how sincerely we fast or praise or worship Him. When we delight Him, make Him proud by seeing the situation as an opportunity for growth and actually take that opportunity to grow….Then He will deliver us.

 

peace and love xoxo 

I get it now

10/01/2018

 

have you ever had a moment where you figure out why you had to go through what you went through in the past? Some would call it a lightbulb moment, where something just switches on inside of your mind and everything begins to unravel and things start to make sense…

Yeah, well that was me yesterday. As I was preparing to study, I allowed my mind to wonder a little bit. I allowed it to wonder into 2016/2017 the time I was experiencing the most confusion I have ever experienced in my small life. These years were not easy spiritually or emotionally and at times I’d often find myself asking God “why?” and “how did I get here?”…

After pondering on it all, I sat still for a while. Silent. And then He brought me to that place of understanding and helped me to realise why.

I literally said out loud “I get it now”. As I watched my past unfold before me I started to understand why God allowed me to experience such confusion. He was teaching me lessons that I’d have to put into practise 2 years later! He was teaching me how to pray better, love better and deal with certain situations better. A year and a half/2 year’s worth of confusion all began to make sense to me within the space of 15 minutes. It was a literal AH HA! moment and I embraced it because it triggered an immense sense of contentment and clarity that I didn’t really have before.

I’d just like to add though, that this lightbulb moment of mine came when I stopped questioning and started listening. There are many voices going on inside of our minds, voices of reason, doubt, fear etc but we will never hear the whisper of God if we don’t mute those voices. I had to come to a place where I was able to quieten the voice of doubt, where I was ok with no answers, in order for God to give me the privilege of knowing some answers. Not all, just some. And I’m okay with that. I am also ok with knowing that there are going to be situations that He allows me to go through in which I may never know why.

peace and love xoxo

the will of God

Romans 12:2

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.

Over the last 3 years I have really been trying to figure out the will of God for my life. Spending days just trying to figure out who I am, where I’m supposed to go, what I’m supposed to do and how I’m supposed to do it. First of all, who am I to try and figure anything out? It is in those moments that I fret the most. Looking back, I now see just how complicated I was making it seem and reading Romans 12:2 makes me realise that its a lot more simpler than I thought.

Its easy to get worked up and overly complicate these kinda things, but I’ve learned that the best way to be in God’s will is to just surrender your own will and desires to Him, knowing that the more you do so, the more your will and desires align with His. Being so in sync with God ultimately means that what He wants for you is what you end up wanting for yourself. At times we think that our heart’s desires are just something that we want for ourselves but it could just be God placing those desires in our hearts because He wants to lead us into the fulfilment of those desires. All according to His timing of course.

According to the above scripture, the key to being in the perfect will of God is simply allowing yourself to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That transformation comes when you mediate on the Word of God day in and day out. That transformation comes when you set your heart on becoming more like Jesus. This means that you become the Word, so you know you’re doing the right thing and you’re in the right place when it matches with God’s Word completely and when you can trust that your relationship with God is strong and solid. So, sometimes, if we may feel like God isn’t answering our prayers when we ask Him to reveal His will, it could be because He’s already revealed it in His Word and He’s just waiting for us to discover that revelation and move forward. Having faith in your relationship with God means that you don’t have to worry about ending up in a place He didn’t lead you to, it means that you can trust that the steps you take won’t slide (Psalm 37:31).

The bottom line is that knowing God’s will probably isn’t as complicated as we think it is. Once we focus on just becoming more like Him, He ends up leading us into what He wants for us. So its not about constantly asking Him what His will is, but its about constantly growing in Him, relying on Him, letting go and allowing things to fall into place supernaturally. When that focus is on Him, His will becomes far more evident and things begin to align. I believe that its not about ‘figuring it out’ but its about just letting it happen. God’s will is way more about who we are than about what we do or where we go.

peace and love xoxo

the little things

05/01/2018

Luke 16:10

“He that is faithful in that which is least is also faithful in much…”

I’m learning that it is often the little pieces that come together to form the puzzle. In that, I mean, God often puts us in situations which may seem ‘small’ at the time, but the lesson learned in that moment will eventually make sense and add up with other situations and trials and ultimately create the bigger puzzle.

I’m sure all of us have set some goals we would like to accomplish by the end of the year, which is great. But it’s not just about focusing on the end goal, as far away as it may seem, it’s about doing the small things day to day to make sure you reach that end goal because it’s the little things that eventually add up.

peace and love xoxo

Take a little peace from God

04/01/2018

I don’t know how I’ve ended up in a position that makes me feel like all I want to do is sleep and cry. Have you ever been in a place where nothing seems to make sense anymore? Where you have way more questions than you do answers? Where it seems like things are caving in around you?

That’s been me for the past few days. 2018 has barely started and I already feel like its going to be a year of fighting, a year of resilience, a year to prove to the enemy that I shouldn’t be written off, that I can make it.

I am finally learning to put God first, I’m finally learning to pray and talk to God first before even thinking about picking up the phone and getting advice from a friend, which is good and definitely helpful, but not at all as satisfying as hearing what God has to say about it first.

And in doing so, God has been blessing me with so much peace. Peace beyond comprehension. I don’t even understand how its possible to feel so much pain but still feel peace? To feel like nothing is working but to still feel peace? To feel anger at the people who wronged you, only for that anger to be consumed in Love.

Harbouring anger and pain takes way more energy than just accepting what is and allowing peace to take over. The sooner you embrace who you are and the purpose behind your being, the sooner you can start working towards fulfilling God’s perfect will for your life.

Just as I was beginning to feel trapped by my circumstances, handing over my circumstances to God has given me complete and utter freedom from them. Do you know how liberating it is just to say “here it is God, have your way”. It is no longer your problem but it becomes His problem and theres no way that He can’t handle any one of your problems and burdens.

Instead of questioning Him, I am now just thanking Him.

If you never have a problem, how would you know that God could solve them? When theres nothing left to do, when you’ve come to the end of yourself, thats where God steps in. Trust Him because He is always in control.

peace and love xoxo